SAFETY PLAN

ITEMS TO THINK ABOUT AND ACT ON

1. DO NOT TELL THE ABUSER YOU ARE LEAVING — LEAVE WHEN THE ABUSER IS NOT HOME 

• Make sure your abuser is not present
• Make sure that it is sometime before your abuser returns

2. HAVE A PLAN AMONG YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, NEIGHBORS, WORKPLACE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOUR CHILDREN - 

• In case the abuse starts, you can use a secret code to warn your friends, family and children that you are in trouble and need help.
• If you have children, ensure they know the importance of not revealing your locations/plans to anyone, etc.
• Make sure your children's schools are aware of any restrictions or protective orders that you have against another person that limits their access to the children.
• Make sure everyone knows how your abuser looks in case the abuser comes looking for you (neighbors, workplace, etc.).

3. CREATE A PAPER TRAIL

• Write down each incident that happens: Time, date, description of who, what and where.
• Keep this information in a safe and hidden place.
• Call the police or inform a person every time you are abused.

4. FIND A SAFE PLACE TO STAY

• Get a place of your own
• Stay with a friend or family member
• Call VARO at (671) 477-5552 to explore shelter options.
• You can also call ALEE Shelter at (671) 648-4673 for shelter options.

5. GET A COURT PROTECTIVE ORDER IF YOU FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY 

• If you feel your abuser might come looking for you
• If you fear for your safety

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT IN PREPARATION OF YOU LEAVING

1. COPY & TAKE IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS WITH YOU 

• Birth certificates of you and children, Passports, Bank account statements, ATM card, check book, photo IDs, School and vaccine records, work permits, green cards, Marriage/Divorce certificates, medical records (including medication), SNAP card and Credit cards
• Keep these documents in a safe place where it is easy to get to, but out of reach of others

2. SAVE SOME MONEY 

• Put aside any money in a safe place: open a separate account or just hide money in a safe place where it is easy to get to, but out of reach of others

3. SECURE TRANSPORTATION 

• If you do not know how to drive, learn how to if possible
• Have a friend or family member drive: IF you do not have transportation, call VARO and we may be able to assist/coordinate transportation for you

4. SOCIAL MEDIA safety measures 

• If you plan to use your social media accounts (email, Facebook, Instagram, etc.) after you leave, please make sure you have changed all your passwords or create new accounts
• Make sure to turn off your "Location"! GPS settings and avoid sharing your locations or whereabouts
• Keep only people you can trust on your Friends List and/or unfriend people you do not want to communicate with on your accounts Be mindful of photos, comments and messages that you post that can disclose your location
• If possible, get a disposable phone to use with a new number

5. WORKPLACE safety measures 

• If you have a protective order, let your workplace know
• Ask to vary your arrival and leave times at work
• Ask to have any incoming calls for you screened
• Ask to be situated away from the entrances and away from public view
• Seek security assistance and accompaniment when alone in the parking lots, etc.
• Park in different places and well-lit areas

Safety Planning-COVID-19

Here's how COVIO.19 could uniquely impact intimate partner violence survivor.

• Abusive partners may withhold necessary items, such as hand sanitizer or disinfectants.
• Abusive partners may share misinformation about the pandemic to control or frighten survivors, or to prevent them from seeking appropriate medical attention if they have symptoms.
• Abusive partners may withhold insurance cards, threaten to cancel insurance, or prevent survivors from seeking medical attention if they need it.
• Programs that serve survivors may be significantly impacted — shelters may be full or may even stop intakes altogether. Survivors may also fear entering shelter because of being in close quarters with groups of people.
• Survivors who are older or have chronic heart or lung conditions may be at increased risk in public places where they would typically get support, like shelters, counseling centers, or courthouses.
• Travel restrictions may impact a survivor's escape or safety plan — it may not be safe for them to use public transportation or to fly.
• An abusive partner may feel more justified and escalate their isolation tactics.

Emotional Safety

Often, emphasis is placed on planning around physical safety, but its important to consider your emotional safety as well. Emotional safety can look different for different people, but ultimately it's about developing a personalized plan that helps you feel accepting of your emotions and decisions when dealing with abuse. Below are some ideas for how to create and maintain an emotional safety plan that works for you.

Seek Out Supportive People: A caring presence such as a trusted friend or family member can help create a calm atmosphere to think through difficult situations and allow for you to discuss potential options.

Identify and Work Towards Achievable Goals: An achievable goal might be calling a local resource and seeing what services are available in your area, or talking to one of our advocates at The Hotline. Remember that you don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with right now, but taking small steps can help options feel more possible when you are ready.

Create a Peaceful Space for Yourself: Designating a physical place where your mind can relax and feel safe can be good option when working through difficult emotions that can arise when dealing with abuse. This can be a room in your house, a spot under your favorite tree, a comfy chair by a window or in a room with low lights.

Remind Yourself of Your Great Value: You are important and special, and recognizing and reminding yourself of this reality is so beneficial for your emotional health. It is never your fault when someone chooses to be abusive to you, and it has no reflection on the great value you have as person.

Remember That You Deserve to Be Kind to Yourself: Taking time to practice self-care every day, even if it is only for a few minutes, really creates space for peace and emotional safety. It's healthy to give yourself emotional breaks and step back from your situation sometimes. In the end, this can help you make the decisions that are best for you.

Safety Planning with your Children

If you are in an abusive relationship, a safety plan should include ways that your children can stay safe when violence is happening in your home. Its key to remember that if the violence is escalating, you should avoid running to the children because your partner may hurt them as well

Planning for Violence in the Home 

• Teach your children when and how to call 911
• Instruct them to leave the home if possible when things begin to escalate, and where they can go.
• Come up with a code word that you can say when they need to leave the home in case of an emergency — make sure that they know not to tell others what the secret word means.
• In the house: identify a room they can go to when they're afraid and something they can think about when they're scared.
• Instruct them to stay out of the kitchen, bathroom and other areas where there are items that could be used as weapons.
• Teach them that although they want to protect their parent, they should never intervene.
• Help them make a list of people that they are comfortable talking with and expressing themselves to.
• Enroll them in a counseling program. Local service providers often have children's programs.